Letting Go Of The Pressure To Be A "Good Mom"

Somewhere along the way, motherhood started to feel like a performance.

A performance measured by lunchbox contents, bedtime routines, screen time limits, birthday parties, milestone charts, and how clean your house looks when someone stops by unexpectedly. A performance fueled by comparison, curated social media squares, and well-meaning advice that somehow still makes you feel like you’re doing it wrong.

If you’ve ever laid in bed at night replaying the day, wondering if you were patient enough… present enough… fun enough… then this space is for you.

Because here’s the truth: The pressure to be a “good” mom is crushing. And it’s stealing our joy.

The Lie of Perfect Motherhood

We live in a world that celebrates perfection. Or at least the appearance of it.

Perfect homes.Perfect meals.Perfect routines.Perfect children.Perfect bodies.Perfect balance.

But real motherhood doesn’t look like that.

Real motherhood looks like reheated coffee, forgotten library books, mismatched socks, and answering the same question 42 times before 9 a.m. It looks like crying in the bathroom, laughing in the kitchen, praying in the car, and holding tiny hands that somehow manage to feel both heavy and holy at the same time.

And yet, so many of us walk around feeling like we’re failing.

Not because we actually are—but because we’re measuring ourselves against something that was never real to begin with.

When “Good Mom” Becomes a Burden

Being a good mom should feel like a calling.

But somewhere along the way, it started to feel like a test.

Did I do enough today?Did I say the right thing?Did I ruin them forever with that one mistake?Am I messing this up?

That constant mental load is exhausting.

It keeps us from enjoying the very moments we prayed for.

It keeps us stuck in guilt instead of gratitude.

It tells us we need to do more instead of be present.

And here’s what I’ve learned:Perfection is not what our kids need.Presence is.

Grace is.

Love is.

What God Actually Asks of Us

God does not ask us to be perfect.

He asks us to be faithful.

He asks us to love, to serve, to forgive, to try again, and to trust Him with what we cannot control.

Motherhood was never meant to be a solo mission. It was never meant to rest fully on our shoulders. And it was never meant to be done in our own strength.

When I created Nourished, Not Perfect, I wanted to build something rooted in this truth:

We do not have to earn our worth. We do not have to prove our goodness. We do not have to perform our motherhood.

We simply have to show up.

God meets us in the messy middle. In the chaos. In the doubt. In the days where we feel like we barely survived.

And somehow, He still calls it good.

What “Nourished, Not Perfect” Looks Like in Real Life

This phrase is my anchor.

It reminds me that my goal is not to have everything figured out—it’s to create a life that feels full, warm, supported, and connected.

Being nourished means:

✨ Choosing connection over control✨ Choosing grace over guilt✨ Choosing rest over hustle✨ Choosing presence over performance

It means feeding our families in ways that feel realistic, not restrictive.

It means caring for our bodies without obsessing over them.

It means building rhythms, not rigid rules.

It means giving ourselves permission to be human.

Some days nourishment looks like a home-cooked meal.Some days it looks like drive-thru and prayer.

Some days it looks like structure.Some days it looks like survival.

All of it counts.

Letting Go of the “Good Mom” Scorecard

If you’re anything like me, you probably keep a mental list of all the ways you think you’re falling short.

But what if we stopped keeping score?

What if we stopped measuring ourselves by productivity and started measuring ourselves by love?

By laughter?

By the way our kids feel safe in our arms?

By the way we keep showing up even when we’re tired?

You don’t need to be more disciplined.You don’t need to be more put-together.You don’t need to be more impressive.

You are already enough.

A Prayer for the Mama Reading This

"God, For the mama reading this who feels like she’s failing—remind her she is faithful. For the mama who feels tired—be her strength.For the mama who feels behind—remind her she is right where You’ve placed her. For the mama who is trying her best—let her know that is enough.

Help us release perfection and receive grace. Help us trust You with what we cannot control. Help us find joy in the ordinary.

Amen."